His Golden Eyes :: Memories

pinkaquaclouds · Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:32 am

Ok so this is just a little blurb that I wrote about my school. Last year during my Junior my school closed. It was just a small school but I had been there since 7th grade. It was very rooted in tradition. My class was given a chance for a kind of fake graduation. So I am just finally starting to except things 3 months into my senior year and writing this helped. Enjoy! I hope! Confused

As I looked in the mirror I didn’t believe what I saw. I was standing there in a beautiful white dress, with my hair up and make up on. This day wasn’t supposed to happen so soon. It wasn’t the usually reason for standing there in a white dress. I was standing there because I was about to go to my High School Graduation, a year too soon. There would be a ceremony but no diploma yet. That was still to come. My school had closed the day before. Never to have students return to its hallowed halls. After 160 years; it was over in a blink of an eye. I was proud though the way most of the students reacted with the news. There were a few tears, but mostly a force of young women and their teachers ready to help save their beautiful school. It brought us closer together. We were able to experience so many things together. Whether it was ranting together about what we were feeling, or taking the long walk up to the old bell tower. Actually for a few it was more than just one visit. Many visits we continued to make further leaving a mark not only in our cherished schools but also in our hearts. Though my times at the school were not always great; the good times over ruled the bad. The people I have met from all over the world; who have turned into family. Where you could not only talk to your friends, but the teachers also; who never hesitated to lend a helping hand. It is a place that when walking in the front door you are greeted with something more than just yourself. The history oozes around you and brings you into the family. The memories that I have made will last me a lifetime or longer. As I write this today, I can not help but smile as a remember all the good times and the all the amazingly wonderful people are have left there footprints with in my heart. If you were not able to experience the power of Mount de Chantal Academy, I am sad for you; but if you ever want to know something about the old school that sits high upon a slope majestic just call upon a Mountie, they would be happy to tell heartwarming stories about the school that has made an impression upon all who have walked through its glorious halls.

BrittanyJacobBlack · Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:52 am

Wowzer, your a great writer! I'm sorry about your school though, I would hate that to happen to me.

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pinkaquaclouds · Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:05 am

Thanks...I am really just starting to get into writing! Its taken me a while but I really writing now.

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"Fall down again, Bella"

"No, Emmet I punched a werewolf in the face."

BrittanyJacobBlack · Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:39 pm

Thats how it was for me. But yet again, I've fallen out of writing. :P

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andy_boo82 · Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:03 pm

Too bad about your school :/

You're a good writer though, not exactly pish-posh perfect, but it's obvious you have hidden potential there! I love the simpleness of it all, like a giddy young school girl wrote it, which you probably where when this memory happened. You could work a bit on the detail, but it's all good.

Oh, and I loved the way you made the font large. I hate writing fanfic/literature on the internet in normal/small size which most authors usually do. Makes me squint and my eyes sore. Rolling Eyes

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OCD - Obsessive Cullen Disorder

Edward: It will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!

Emmett: Excellent plan, my brother.

Rosalie: No.

Bella: Absolutely not.

Jasper: Nice.

Alice: Idiots.

Lady Ruthven · Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 4:59 pm

This is a really solid piece of writing. You've made some structural mistakes here and there, and a couple of grammatical errors but nothing to be too worried about. You capture the essence of emotions very well, and you're able to create a round and atmospheric picture in the reader's mind of both the school and the love it's students had for it.

It might be an idea for you to expand this experience into a short story, I think it could definitely hold up and be an excellent writing exercise. And it wouldn't be too tricky to get something with this tone published in a magazine if it was longer.

Keep writing! And good work!

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Are YOU a special snowflake?